Tuesday, November 16, 2010

YUL BRYNNER: BALD ALL OVER?


Yul Brynner, famous for his legendary roles in The King and I, West World and The Magnificent Seven is Hollywoods seminal bald guy. He was rocking bald before bald was bald.
I’ve been investigating long standing rumours that Yul wasn’t just into shaving his head. Apparently Yul was into some serious manscaping and went one step further than Kim Kardashians “the only hair I have on my entire body is on my head” business. Yep, apparently Yul Brynner was bald all over!

Nothing stood between Yul and his Calvin’s.

Though I’ve trawled the web like some horny, married, amateur cricketer at a suburban bars' ladies night I’ve yet to find a shred of evidence – apart from the fact that he was a trapeze artist in his youth. Trapeze artists are carnies and carnies are suspect kinky folk with their own rules and laws and attitudes to hair and shit.

There are some nude photos of Yul floating around the inter-webs in which he sports some seriously hairy nutbush city limits but these were taken back in the days where he had head hair and thus can’t be considered a valid argument.

Also he was kooky. He used to demand all hotel suites in which he stayed had to be painted a particular shade of tan and the fridges be stoked with, and I quote "one dozen brown eggs, under no circumstances white ones!"
I guess he wanted looking at an egg to be like looking in a mirror.

So was Yul Brynner bald all over? I don’t know. Perhaps it was actually Telly Savalas. 

Sunday, November 14, 2010

SIMON COWELL'S MANSCAPING EXPLAINED

"I'll have a reverse Donkey Kong please Svetlana."

Simon Cowell has all the money in all the world and all the body hair in all the Robin Williams. He could have that old growth chest forest of his transformed into anything he wanted. There could be hedge sculptures of elephants and reindeer covered in Christmas lights (made from Naomi Campbell's blood diamonds) but no. When he goes to get himself waxed to perfection he takes in the negative image of this picture: