"I'll have a reverse Donkey Kong please Svetlana."
Simon Cowell has all the money in all the world and all the body hair in all the Robin Williams. He could have that old growth chest forest of his transformed into anything he wanted. There could be hedge sculptures of elephants and reindeer covered in Christmas lights (made from Naomi Campbell's blood diamonds) but no. When he goes to get himself waxed to perfection he takes in the negative image of this picture: